my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
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he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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