Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
