He told me they were just razor bumps!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
