I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
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Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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