I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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