yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
