we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
only if we run a train.
done.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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