If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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