Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
