i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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