Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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