Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
