"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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