Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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