Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
