im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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