and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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