I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
