FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
