I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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