What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
there is glitter all over my balls
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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