You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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