We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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