Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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