Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
