therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
