i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
