Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
