i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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