we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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