Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
