there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This house was built for laser tag.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
