btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
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she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
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Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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