He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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