the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Randomize
