I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.