Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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  (212): I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight http://tfl.nu/y0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (1162) Bad night (656)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!

  (269): View more from Michigan

  ...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...

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  (734): those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion! (269): ...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone... http://tfl.nu/zhx6
  Replies (9) Good night (902) Bad night (2319)
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  (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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  (949): just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will." http://tfl.nu/pn0l
  Replies (35) Good night (22263) Bad night (964)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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  (931): I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds http://tfl.nu/gekw
  Replies (20) Good night (1218) Bad night (3624)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying

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  (603): Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying http://tfl.nu/e8oi
  Replies (10) Good night (7861) Bad night (912)
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  (805): View more from California

  Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.

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  (805): Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy. http://tfl.nu/cdtm
  Replies (23) Good night (5433) Bad night (1159)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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  (713): You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation". http://tfl.nu/47p5
  Replies (8) Good night (2732) Bad night (1857)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests

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  (973): Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests http://tfl.nu/b1y9
  Replies (10) Good night (3953) Bad night (1002)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests

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  (214): I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests http://tfl.nu/7t18
  Replies (9) Good night (3410) Bad night (972)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

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  (513): He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets. http://tfl.nu/5i0f
  Replies (7) Good night (6186) Bad night (1016)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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  (815): She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water. http://tfl.nu/94yr
  Replies (8) Good night (5155) Bad night (1283)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes

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  (970): I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes http://tfl.nu/f5p7
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (655)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.

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  (231): She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis. http://tfl.nu/zwdy
  Replies (7) Good night (444) Bad night (605)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay

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  (617): Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay http://tfl.nu/4gtm
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (441)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club

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  (281): So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club http://tfl.nu/v60e
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (186)

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