Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Apparently you chose the latter.

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  (902): So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour. (416): Apparently you chose the latter. http://tfl.nu/xdpl
  Replies (29) Good night (3758) Bad night (685)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.

  (212): View more from New York

  i hate you

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  (813): i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you. (212): i hate you http://tfl.nu/mlwn
  Replies (20) Good night (4768) Bad night (1088)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away

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  (989): dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away http://tfl.nu/dlah
  Replies (30) Good night (1739) Bad night (7763)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.

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  (360): Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night. http://tfl.nu/91du
  Replies (49) Good night (7752) Bad night (1225)
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  (+34): View more from Spain

  what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30

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  (+34): what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30 http://tfl.nu/zswr
  Replies (7) Good night (819) Bad night (4036)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.

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  (407): He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember. http://tfl.nu/ugc6
  Replies (8) Good night (2691) Bad night (953)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.

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  (609): At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared. http://tfl.nu/jdkh
  Replies (8) Good night (2898) Bad night (1009)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.

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  (859): She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding. http://tfl.nu/udu2
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (1889)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar

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  (845): I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar http://tfl.nu/fuzg
  Replies (22) Good night (929) Bad night (1530)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.

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  (205): Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth. http://tfl.nu/rtd2
  Replies (12) Good night (1100) Bad night (2253)
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  (914): View more from New York

  You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.

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  (914): You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting. http://tfl.nu/59xa
  Replies (5) Good night (1163) Bad night (1183)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.

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  (217): Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister. http://tfl.nu/slb6
  Replies (9) Good night (1628) Bad night (481)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.

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  (865): I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night. http://tfl.nu/z7o8
  Replies (8) Good night (1049) Bad night (357)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi

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  (410): You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi http://tfl.nu/fnbe
  Replies (0) Good night (537) Bad night (352)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  It's still 8am.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.

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  (337): It's still 8am. (1-337): Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY. http://tfl.nu/s195
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (190)

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