Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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