ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
