Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
