We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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