I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
