Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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