There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
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It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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