You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
