is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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