Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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