Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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