Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
