just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
