I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
