YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
