next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
