In the future we'll all be gay
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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