Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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