I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
