I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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