lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
