Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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