found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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