Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
