Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I love you.
Bad choice
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
