You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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