There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
