There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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