is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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